It's certainly no death match, but I thought I'd start off in true Celebraholic-style. Our first celeb battle squares up Jamie Lynn Spear's new squirt against Jessica Alba's superbabe. (Let's be realistic here. How long did you think we could go without mentioning a Spears?!?) Kumité!
Round 1: What's in Name? Jamie Lynn keeps it southern, naming her baby girl Maddie Briann. Alba, on the other hand, stays true to celeb status, adding another crazy name to the celebrity kids list: Honor Marie. What did you expect from a woman who married a man named Cash? Round 1 Winner: Honor Marie.
Round 2: Baby's Daddy? Cash Warren, Alba's hubby, has a nice resume, including Made in America and Fantastic Four. I've never even heard of 19-year-old Casey Aldridge. Google him. Seriously, this kid's professional title is going to be Baby Daddy. I wouldn't be surprised if he pulled a K-Fed. Round 2 Winner: Sorry Maddie, but this one goes to Honor Marie.
Round 3: Are you My Mom? Disney versus Dark Angel? Please. Do I even have to go through this one? Age aside, if Honor inherits any of her superhero-of-a-Mom's kick butt moves, Maddie doesn't stand a chance. Round 3 Winner: The Superbabe.
Round 4: Show Me The Money. Although she's still got plenty in the piggy bank from Fantastic Four II and The Love Guru, the only thing Alba's cashing in on recently is motherhood. Interview after interview, she describes her hopes to be a "strict mom." If Lynne Spears rubs off on her daughter at all, Maddie will certainly be making bank. After selling out on her daughter's story, let's not hold our breathe to find out how much they'll be making off of those baby pics... Oh, the insanity. Round 4 Winner: Million Dollar Baby Maddie.
Winner: Honor. Hey, this name is starting to make sense...
~Dutchess Halfmoon
1 comment:
OK seriously.. what the hell does Cash Warren do? Is Cash even his real name? He sounds gangsta yo! I'm praying Maddie's mom goes the same path of Crystal Meth, Popeye's Cajun Chicken and guests appearances on How I Met Your Mother.
As for Honor.. she's going to have bionic powers. Go Honor!!
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