Ferris Bueller Cheated on Sarah Jessica Parker

So it turns out Matthew Broderick has been cheating on his wife, Sex and the City star, Sarah Jessica Parker, with a 25 year old girl. The Star reports...

Sources say the woman felt conflicted with her relationship with Matthew, whom she nicknamed "Matty Cakes." She tried to end it, say insiders, but that didn't happen and over the next month — when Sarah Jessica was filming Sex and the City: The Movie in Los Angeles — multiple eyewitnesses say they saw Matthew make late-night visits to the other woman's apartment building.

During one tryst, they arrived at her friend's apartment after a night of heavy drinking, says a source. She dragged Matthew into the friend's bedroom, then shut the door. "A half hour later, Matthew opened the bedroom door, mumbled 'Well... 'bye!' and walked out. The friend found her passed out on the bed in her panties."

Maybe now she can finally be with Big.. or Adan.

- Fluffy Clark

The Pope Mobile Inspired Stroller

The Bulletproof Stroller is perfect for anyone who thinks their child's life might be in danger. I'm not talking about diseases or illnesses but bullets, explosions, or suicide bombers. That's right.. you heard that correctly. You will feel safe knowing your child be inside 4 inches of bulletproof steel. Perfect for NFL players, NBA players, Hip-Hop Artists, Politicians, and couples with psycho exes.

Hell, I got it cause my child(John) is constantly under attacks from killer robots from the future. They seriously want us dead cause supposedly he'll be some great leader against an endless army of rebellious cyborgs in a near future global dystopia. 

- Fluffy Clark

Rumors and Tidbits

So this is the section of the page I like to call, "Rumors and Tidbits"... aka, Fluffy Clark is too lazy to write a full post about these people.

So here's the news around the celeb world.

PARIS TRIES TO INFECT CRISTIANO RONALDO

Turns out Paris Hilton has been trying to get with recently single international soccer star Cristiano Ronaldo. This ugly guy here. Fortunately, he was smart enough to turn her down. Good for him. Who knows what mutated strains of herpes Paris has by now. I mean isn't she dating or was dating Benji Madden from Good Charlotte? After sleeping with her, I heard that guy has 2 weeks to live. She's like the virus-carrying monkey from Outbreak, except nowhere even close to as hot as that thing is.

ANDY DICK IS A DICK....

The best actor in Hollywood, Andy Dick was recently arrested and charged with drunkeness and sexual battery. Dude, he tried (or did) pull down a 17 year old's bra. 

According to the AP..

Police were called to the Buffalo Wild Wings in Murrieta at about 1:13 a.m. to investigate a report of "an intoxicated male" urinating outside the bar and causing a disturbance, according to a police statement.
When they arrived, a 17-year-old girl told police that she was outside when Dick left the bar, walked up, "grabbed her tank top and bra and pulled them down and exposed her breasts," the statement said.
Dick was identified by the teenager and a witness, police said. Marijuana and the drug Xanax were found his pants pockets during a search and he appeared "extremely intoxicated," police said.

YOU'RE CAREER IS SO DONE HEIGL

Turns out Katherine Heigl's days on Grey's Anatomy are done. Her character might be killed off in the next season. (i'm praying for the meteor attack that takes her out. Oh or her falling down an elevator shalf... Or hell, OUTBREAK MONKEY!!)

US Weekly says..

The idea came after Heigl, 29, withdrew herself from Emmy contention, saying that she didn’t feel she was “given the material this season to warrant an Emmy nomination.”
In response to Heigl’s griping, staffers are considering giving her character, Dr. Izzie Stevens, a brain tumor.
“[Producer] Shonda [Rhimes] and the writers are pissed at her,” the source tells Us. “It’s their way of screwing with her. She won’t know whether she’s going to live or die.”

So if you want to keep your job Katherine, you're going to have to kiss some serious bootay. You should probably take some lessons from Dr. Drake Ramoray, who was the best damn TV doctor EVER till the writer's killed him off.

REGGIE BUSH TELLS KIM KARDASHIAN SHE NEEDS TO DROP SOME POUNDS

New Orleans Saint's running back, Reggie Bush apparently told his girlfriend, Kim "Baby Got Back" Kardashian that she needs to lose some poundage, or needs to lose some junk in the trunk, the badunkadunk. Word.

RAMPAGE JACKSON'S CLOAKING DEVICE FAILED

OK, first off, I don't even know who the f-ck Rampage Jackson is. I heard he was like a UFC (turns out that means Ultimate Fighting Champion and not Ultimate Fried Chicken...  which sounds incredibly better than KFC) champ. Yeah I wouldn't know, I like to watch Top Chef, drink my beer in a wine glass(not from a beer can holder on a hardhat), and own a car that's not a pickup truck.

Turns out Mr. Jackson hit some cars and tried to avoid the police. I heard that's illegal.

A Costa Mesa patrol officer attempted to pull Jackson over after he was seen weaving in and out of traffic with a flat front left tire, according to a release issued by the Costa Mesa Police Department. Jackson, 30, continued driving to avoid being stopped. Losing control of the truck, Jackson drove up onto a sidewalk. He continued on, colliding with a vehicle in an intersection and running several red lights.

Eventually, the truck came to a stop and Jackson, originally of Memphis, Tenn., was arrested without incident at gunpoint.

So the best part of this story was when I saw a picture of his car...

HAHAHA!! OK seriously guy. You have your name and face all over that thing and you really think a camouflaged painted car is really gonna help you evade the police. Here's some news... They can see you Rampage!! Camo only works when you are in a forest. Oh and they have your name, I'm sure you can figure out how.

- Fluffy Clark

I FINALLY FOUND WALDO!!

 

Image courtesy of Splash News

When my little cousins use to show me their Where's Waldo? books, I use to have the hardest time finding that bastard. It didn't help that I was color blind and I was too poor to afford glasses so my sight was limited to within 3 inches from my eyes.  I was like Mr. Magoo but 1/100 of his age and a hell of a lot more sexier. God those books were frustrating. But no longer.. ladies and gents, I finally found Waldo and he looks like that guy Kelly Osborne.

- Fluffy Clark

Megan Fox Wants to Do Art Films

OK, so I read this on TheSuperficial and I decided to share since it's friggin' hilarious. Here's what they wrote.. 

Megan Fox stated she wanted to do more art films. 

“I would love to do a movie naked – it would be beautiful. No one dares make that kind of film today. They did it in the 1930s in an arty way, so why not now?”

Um, I believe there's a word for "that kind of film." It's called porn. That said, Megan Fox should be allowed to follow her heart and live her dreams and whatever else needs to be said to get this thing done. What can I say? I support the arts.

Baby Wars 2008

"It's the most wonderful time.. of the year!!" You know what that means right? BABY WARS 2008!! (in deep cinematic trailer voice)

The baby business is seriously booming this year in hollywood and the thunder from down under, Nicole Kidman has kicked it off. Supposedly, Keith and Her don't approve of Brad and Angie selling their baby photos..

A friend of Kidman told the Sydney Morning Herald:

"They don't think it's appropriate to make deals. They are still deciding how they feel about - if and when they will release a photo at all. But they realise there is enormous interest from the public and they are grateful and appreciative of that," the source said.

So while Alba and Spears racked in about a measly million each... 

Insiders are speculating the (Jolie-Pitt)pics will go for between $15 million to $20 million. In fact, one photo-agency owner guesses that the only other thing that could possibly demand that much money is “Britney Spears giving birth to an alien.”

I wouldn't doubt that Britney would give birth to an alien sometime soon. Or maybe an illegal alien baby. I'm guessing those pics would go for a million also. A million pesos.

- Fluffy Clark

You Know You Are Too Rich When.... J-Lo Edition

This is when you know you made it in this world.

The actress apparently insists on dressing her five-month-old twins in new designer gear every day.
We're told: "Jennifer was approached by a charity and asked to donate some dresses for a celebrity auction. She agreed and donated a gorgeous £5,000 frock.

"She also offered some of Max and Emme's clothes, telling organisers that she never lets them 'repeat' outfits.
"But the auction deals only in adult clothes. Jennifer told them it was a shame, as some items cost over 1,000 dollars each."

Wow.. Holy Sweet Jesus!! Those kids are rolling big time. So lemme do the math here....  a new outfit everyday which cost a minimum of $1,000 each for 365 days equals... ELEVENTY BILLION DOLLARS a year. Their clothing budget probably rivals the GNP of some First World Countries. I don't see J-Lo getting up in the morning earning the dough so it must be Marc Anthony. That guy must be exhausted. He's probably doing singing gigs from 5am - 4am each day while making time to pick up some new outfits for the week for his kids. No wonder he always looks like a zombie. Christian Bale from The Machinist probably got more shut eye than Mr. J-Lo.

But wait, (going back to the repeat outfit thing) this ain't so crazy. I don't do repeat underwear. Sure, I don't change underwear everyday (I usually wear it for a six month stint) but I NEVER "repeat" with that same pair. In a matter of weeks, it gets all tattered and damp and I start to look like I'm wearing caveman undies. Sometimes, when I take the ladies home, they ask, "why do you always wear black underwear?" I say, "i don't babe, it was white."

- Fluffy Clark