Ferris Bueller Cheated on Sarah Jessica Parker

So it turns out Matthew Broderick has been cheating on his wife, Sex and the City star, Sarah Jessica Parker, with a 25 year old girl. The Star reports...

Sources say the woman felt conflicted with her relationship with Matthew, whom she nicknamed "Matty Cakes." She tried to end it, say insiders, but that didn't happen and over the next month — when Sarah Jessica was filming Sex and the City: The Movie in Los Angeles — multiple eyewitnesses say they saw Matthew make late-night visits to the other woman's apartment building.

During one tryst, they arrived at her friend's apartment after a night of heavy drinking, says a source. She dragged Matthew into the friend's bedroom, then shut the door. "A half hour later, Matthew opened the bedroom door, mumbled 'Well... 'bye!' and walked out. The friend found her passed out on the bed in her panties."

Maybe now she can finally be with Big.. or Adan.

- Fluffy Clark

Stepford Wives Wasn't Fiction

Remember when Nicole Kidman looked like a real human being?


Now she looks like this monster..


See I thought the Stepford Wives was a smart, entertaining comedy. Now I'm starting to think it was an autobiography about Nicole Kidman's life. I thought the point of cosmetic surgery is to make it less obvious and invisible. Well.. Mr. Surgeon (or Miss).. you failed miserably. Maybe she is a robot?

Oh and I heard she gave birth is a new robot.. I mean baby. The baby is going to get collagen injections on Monday. Go baby!!

- Fluffy Clark

Ranae Shrider Breaks the Silence and Talks About Sex With a Hobbit.. I Mean Midget

Oh my god.. I seriously can't write anything that can be funnier than this interview Ranae Shrider(the girl who made a sex tape with Mini-Me) had with News of the World. (my comments in red)

On sex in general with a midget:
"So I'd lie on the bed and Verne would crawl up my legs to have sex with me. And as he did it his feet would be tickling my knees! It wasn't quite as passionate as sex with a normal-sized man but he did his best. He didn't wear a condom. There was no point, they're all too big. On the whole though, he wasn't short of sexy skills and tried his hardest to make up in technique what he lacked in size." Wow, he didn't use a condom? He should of bought those rubber kitchen gloves and cut off the pinky finger. That probably would of helped. 

On their first time and the Mini-Me's magical rebound skills:
"I had no complaints. But the whole thing was over in three minutes. It was strange having sex with someone who couldn't reach to kiss me at the same time, except for my tummy that is! I was so relieved it was over. But minutes later Verne was ready to go again. That night we made love three times in 20 minutes, which most bigger men only dream about doing." I recommend she get a tattoo of her face on her stomach so Mini-Me can have the effect of kissing her during sex. And 3 minutes.. wow that's like 2 min and 50 sec more than the average guy.

On why midget's prefer sex on dry land:
"I thought it would be fun to do it in the tub," she said. "Sadly I almost killed him. While Verne was watching TV I ran the bath, emptied a bottle of bubbles in it and called him in. But the bubbles were so thick and high that once he climbed in he got lost under the water and I couldn't see him." HAHAHAHA.. oh my god.. I'm crying over here...  That's like a kid first entering the grown up  pool. 

- Fluffy Clark

A Glimpse of the Pit-Jolie Family 2 Years From Now

With news of Angelina Jolie ready to pop 2 kids out of her belly, I can't help but think what this family is going to look like 2 years from now. She's having children like she's trying to collect Pokemon. It really wouldn't surprise me if she started naming them Charazar, or Pikachu, or Gigglipuff. Hell, she's having so many damn kids, the world is running out of names. So many, that she needs a small planet just to house them.

The census 10 years from now will reveal that 1/4 of the world's population is a member of the Pitt-Jolie tribe.