I Want to be the Asian Tyler Perry

Everywhere I go, I see a new Tyler Perry movie (going straight to DVD) advertised in the streets of NYC. Today I saw a poster for this one...



If any of you don't know who Tyler Perry is.. here's a short description of him from wikipedia..

American playwright, screenwriter, actor, director, and producer of indie films and stage plays. His best-known character is "Madea", who is a physically imposing and overbearing but well-intentioned woman who serves both as comic relief and as the loud voice of conscience for the protagonists of Perry's works.

Anyway.. look at his resume.. he's written so many films. I mean, the titles alone are brilliant.

I Can Do Bad All by Myself (oh word?)
House of Payne (TV) (let me guess.. is the family's last name... Payne?)
The Family That Preys
Meet the Browns (TV)
Why Did I Get Married? (brilliant by the way. I think I fell in love with Kerry Washington)
Why Did I Get Married Too
Diary of a Mad Black Woman
Madea Goes to Jail
Madea's Family Reunion (are you seeing a trend here? This is like the next generation of Ernest movies)
Madea's Class Reunion

Just looking at those titles makes me wonder how this guy doesn't have Emmys or Oscars. An outrage I tell you.

So my friend Jamie and I have this ongoing movie idea. It's starting to cross along the lines of Joy Luck Club, Kentucky Fried Movie, and Black Hawk Down (ok maybe not this one) but it'll be brilliant I tell you. Brilliant!! Move over Titanic.

Anyway, if I was the asian Tyler Perry, you can expect such titles as..

House of Pei
I Can Do Submissive All by Myself
Diary of a Quiet Asian Man
Ming Goes to Chinese School Reunion
Why Did I Get Arranged

I can see it.. I would have a pool of beautiful asian actresses working with a limited and extremely rare asian male talent pool. Jin from LOST, I'm looking at you.

Your Story is so Coyote Ugly

I sometimes can't believe I actually live in NYC. But there's this part of me that feels like I'm "just visiting" and I don't mind not being considered a New Yorker. I just don't like it when people say.. "you're from jersey??!! Eww". That's not very polite if you ask me. And the thing is, I actually get that a lot. When people hear you are from that side of the Hudson, they give that reaction like you're from a third world country of something.

I don't know. I think I fit in very well here. Maybe not by my appearance(i'm like 4x the weight of the average hipster and they weight about 50 lbs each) but I think I have the mentality(did I just sound cocky there?). It's amusing when that sheltered friend says to you, "oh man, be careful, I don't want to see you get killed." I immediately think of that ridiculous scene from Coyote Ugly where Violet has that farewell party with her friends from Sayreville. "Oh my god Violet.. you're moving to the big city!" Jesus Christ people, Sayreville is like 30 miles from NYC, it's not like she's coming from Africa.

I find Coyote Ugly highly amusing fiction. Maybe I think too much but I want to know what was Violet's game plan. Seriously, the girl packed up her stuff and moved (30 miles away) with 1.) NO JOB, 2.) No roommates and a fairly spacey apartment(by NYC standards) for HERSELF and 3.) with a plan of being a songwriter as income. Seriously girl?? Really??

Anyway, life is good these days. Surprisingly getting by financially. The Ramen diet is working out too. But I really miss driving. Like really miss it. Having a car in NYC is a luxury. Everyone walks or takes public transportation. Some people will never understand.. there's a type of freedom that comes with driving and that's the ability to hit a pedestrian. Kidding.