I Want to be the Asian Tyler Perry

Everywhere I go, I see a new Tyler Perry movie (going straight to DVD) advertised in the streets of NYC. Today I saw a poster for this one...



If any of you don't know who Tyler Perry is.. here's a short description of him from wikipedia..

American playwright, screenwriter, actor, director, and producer of indie films and stage plays. His best-known character is "Madea", who is a physically imposing and overbearing but well-intentioned woman who serves both as comic relief and as the loud voice of conscience for the protagonists of Perry's works.

Anyway.. look at his resume.. he's written so many films. I mean, the titles alone are brilliant.

I Can Do Bad All by Myself (oh word?)
House of Payne (TV) (let me guess.. is the family's last name... Payne?)
The Family That Preys
Meet the Browns (TV)
Why Did I Get Married? (brilliant by the way. I think I fell in love with Kerry Washington)
Why Did I Get Married Too
Diary of a Mad Black Woman
Madea Goes to Jail
Madea's Family Reunion (are you seeing a trend here? This is like the next generation of Ernest movies)
Madea's Class Reunion

Just looking at those titles makes me wonder how this guy doesn't have Emmys or Oscars. An outrage I tell you.

So my friend Jamie and I have this ongoing movie idea. It's starting to cross along the lines of Joy Luck Club, Kentucky Fried Movie, and Black Hawk Down (ok maybe not this one) but it'll be brilliant I tell you. Brilliant!! Move over Titanic.

Anyway, if I was the asian Tyler Perry, you can expect such titles as..

House of Pei
I Can Do Submissive All by Myself
Diary of a Quiet Asian Man
Ming Goes to Chinese School Reunion
Why Did I Get Arranged

I can see it.. I would have a pool of beautiful asian actresses working with a limited and extremely rare asian male talent pool. Jin from LOST, I'm looking at you.

Your Story is so Coyote Ugly

I sometimes can't believe I actually live in NYC. But there's this part of me that feels like I'm "just visiting" and I don't mind not being considered a New Yorker. I just don't like it when people say.. "you're from jersey??!! Eww". That's not very polite if you ask me. And the thing is, I actually get that a lot. When people hear you are from that side of the Hudson, they give that reaction like you're from a third world country of something.

I don't know. I think I fit in very well here. Maybe not by my appearance(i'm like 4x the weight of the average hipster and they weight about 50 lbs each) but I think I have the mentality(did I just sound cocky there?). It's amusing when that sheltered friend says to you, "oh man, be careful, I don't want to see you get killed." I immediately think of that ridiculous scene from Coyote Ugly where Violet has that farewell party with her friends from Sayreville. "Oh my god Violet.. you're moving to the big city!" Jesus Christ people, Sayreville is like 30 miles from NYC, it's not like she's coming from Africa.

I find Coyote Ugly highly amusing fiction. Maybe I think too much but I want to know what was Violet's game plan. Seriously, the girl packed up her stuff and moved (30 miles away) with 1.) NO JOB, 2.) No roommates and a fairly spacey apartment(by NYC standards) for HERSELF and 3.) with a plan of being a songwriter as income. Seriously girl?? Really??

Anyway, life is good these days. Surprisingly getting by financially. The Ramen diet is working out too. But I really miss driving. Like really miss it. Having a car in NYC is a luxury. Everyone walks or takes public transportation. Some people will never understand.. there's a type of freedom that comes with driving and that's the ability to hit a pedestrian. Kidding.

LaBlogotheque is my teacher, mother, secret lover.

If you don't know anything about LaBlogotheque.. here's a description.

Every week, they invite an artist or a band to play in the streets, in a bar, a park, or even in a flat or in an elevator, and we film the whole session. What makes the beauty of it is all the little incidents, hesitations, and crazy stuff happening unexpectingly. They do not edit the videos so they look perfectly flawless, instead they keep the raw sound of the surroundings. Our goal is to try and capture instants, film the music just like it happens, without preparation, without tricks. Spontaneity is the keyword.

Here's another kick ass video..

Paul Rudd and the Death of Coldplay

Way to go Chuck Klosterman.. you inspired me..

Back in high school, I had a friend Matt who was part of my barbershop quartet. Matt and I had different tastes in music but there was some bands/musicians that we saw eye to eye about. There also was this on-going theory about Matt (created by my best friend Darren and I). We believed, whatever current/new artist/musician Matt liked.. that artist was doomed to fail.

Here's some evidence..
Soul For Real --- dropped out of sight
Groove Theory --- Knocked of the charts
All-4-One ---- DEAD

Anyway..

In 2005, the Judd Apatow hit The 40-Year-Old Virgin was released in theaters to critical success. Steve Carell was beginning his reign as superstar and Judd Apatow took off into the stratosphere. Sure the movie had its moments, its laughs, but like Mac from It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, "i'm not going for laughs, I'm looking for gasps."

And nothing rings more true than the infamous dialogue between Seth Rogan and Paul Rudd. Cal (played by Seth Rogan) and David (Rudd) were going back and forth about why the other is "gay"

David: You know how I know you're gay?
Cal: How?
David: You like Coldplay.

(audience gasps)

It was at that very moment, I gave my friend a look of worry. You know, that same look when you find out a close friend might be dying. I knew that second, it's all downhill for Coldplay.

I mean here's a band riding high since their famous 3 chord lullaby known as Yellow. A band that has outsold most bands of the decade. Here's a band, that some considered, the heir to the U2 crown. The most important band to come out of the UK since Radiohead. You get the picture. In 2005, it was taboo to even say anything bad about the media darlings and in an instant, an up and down movie actor cays the most dangerous thing to the Coldplay faithful. And right there, the floodgates opened.

Since the Rudd incident, Coldplay has been dubbed, the "most overrated band ever." The most "meaningless, bland, politically fake band with a frontman trying to be Bono." Coldplay has become the kid in your class that might of, might not of had lice in his hair. The designated high school slut who didn't let the high school jock go all the way with her.

I don't know... personally, I like the band. They have a special place in my heart for reasons I won't discuss here. Anyway, sometimes I'm tempted to call or write Matt and ask him if he's a Coldplay fan.


**There's a lot of bands that have walked the same path (ie. - Oasis, 80's hair bands, Fallout Boy, Nickelback) but Coldplay has somehow weathered the storm. In truth, there's a lot of reasons to not like a band but most of the time, they aren't very valid. **